“1970’s Polaroid “

February 9, 2014

You are a child of the 70’s if…

It was a major accomplishment to get to the “Chase” scene in Ms. Pacman.You were unsure if Diet Coke would ever catch on.This rings a bell: “and my name, is Charlie. They work for me.”

Your jaw would ache by the time you finished one of those brick-sized packages of Bazooka!

You actually believed that Mikey, famed kid on the Life cereal commercials, died after eating Pop Rocks and drinking a Coke.

You ever owned a Donnie and Marie or Sonny and Cher poster.

You ever had a Dorothy Hamill haircut or used Short and Sassy shampoo.

You’ve recently horrified yourself by using any one of the following phrases: “You know, back when…,” “When I was your age…,” or “When I was younger…”

You ever wanted to learn to play “Stairway to Heaven” on the guitar and choreographed “Dancing Queen” by yourself in your room.

You remember that music that was labeled “alternative” really was.

You still wonder if Mikey died from a lethal cocktail of Pop Rocks and Coca Cola.

You actually remember Mr. Bill.

You remember when there was only “G”, “PG”, and “R”.

Chevy Chase was really funny in those vacation movies.

You ever owned a set of “Pop-Wheels”, that handy little combination of shoe and roller skate that lasted about a year on the open market.

You know, by heart, the words to Weird Al Yankovic’s songs.

Your parents wanted you to attend medical school, but you decided it was pointless since Quincy got all the babes anyway.

You remember trying to guess the first episode of the Brady Bunch from the first scene.

There was nothing strange about Bert and Ernie living together.

You’re currently employed doing something that has absolutely nothing to do with your college major.

You learned to swim at about the same time “Jaws” came out… and still carry the emotional scars to prove it.

You can recite the Preamble to the Constitution, but only to the tune of Schoolhouse Rock.

You remember Bo and Luke Duke, Daisy, Boss Hogg, or, worst of all – what Sheriff Roscoe’s full name was. (Coltrain)

You’re starting to believe that having the kids go to school all year wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all.

“Members Only” jackets…say no more.

Rotary phones.

If female: you thought that Shawn Cassidy was “dreamy”, lusted after “Ted, your ship’s photographer” on the Love Boat or Chachi.

“All skaters, change directions” means something to you.

In your sophomore class picture, you’re wearing a shirt with the collar “up”.

Your first musical purchase was an 8-track tape.

You found nothing strange about Bert and Ernie living together.

You ever asked to be gagged with a spoon.

If male: your first love was Marsha Brady, Jeannine, Samantha from Bewitched, Josie or any one of the Pussycat.

The Brady Bunch Movie brings back warm memories.

You know all the words to the double-album set of the “Grease” soundtrack.

You were not allowed to see The Exorcist, The Omen, or The Blue Lagoon when they came out.

Most of the fillings in your mouth are directly related to Bazooka or Bubble Yum.

You remember when your cable TV box had a sliding selector switch and your “cable or VCR remote” was connected to the TV by a CORD!

You remember wanting to stay up to see Mr. Bill on Saturday Night Live.

Leg warmers were cool.

Your parents paid $2,000 for a top-loading VCR that was almost the size of a coffee table.

Schoolhouse Rock played a HUGE part in how you learned things like grammar, math and history. (A big hint here is if the only way you can recite the Preamble to the Constitution is by singing it.)

This rings a bell: “My name is Charlie, and they work for me.”!

You tuned in regularly to the adventures of the Bionic Man and Woman, Wonder Woman, and/or the Incredible Hulk.

You’ve ever owned a pair of rainbow suspenders like the ones Mork used to wear.

You know who shot J.R.

You actually remember Benetton.

A predominant color in your childhood photos is “plaid”.

And lastly, I’ll make a song stick in your head for the rest

You remember having to get off the couch to change the TV channel.

You remember “Friday Night Videos” before the days of MTV.

You remember having a rotary phone.

You owned a Jordache anything, or you remember when Jordache jeans were cool.

You took family trips BEFORE the invention of the mini-van and remember riding in the back of the station wagon trying to get passing trucks to honk at you.

You remember when film critics were certain that no movie could ever possibly get better special effects than those in the movie TRON.









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